IP asks 1 item to definitely bring to Mexico for baby

Our Intend Parent asks: 

What is one item for the baby I should definitely bring with me to Mexico?  

Answer: 

Definitely a car seat with a stroller!  The drivers in Villahermosa and Mexico City are insane!  Your baby's safety should always come first.  I had to leave the states in such a hurry because my surrogate's water broke early and that is exactly what I brought with me and thank goodness I did!  

You will need the stroller everywhere you go.  You only have 2 hands…give them a break.  The stroller will absolutely come in handy during the long time you will spend waiting for you baby's birth certificate at the ministry and the hours you will wait for the passport at the embassy.  The stroller can be taken all the way to the gate at the airport and the gate agent will then store it for you on the plane.  You will receive a tag for the stroller…write your name on it.  

Here is what I used for my son during my stay in Mexico…
BOB Revolution CE Stroller purchased at REI.  They were running a special and I received the car seat for free! 

Building a Family as a Single Parent through Surrogacy

I didn't go into the surrogacy process thinking I would be a single parent but in life things happen and you must roll with the punches.

I am often asked, "what was it like being a lone with Luca in Mexico for 4 months after he was born."  There were definitely stressful moments, especially because I do not understand/speak Spanish.  I've always been a self sufficient person and having to rely on others to make Luca's pediatrician appointments and schedule taxis (that sometimes never showed up) was incredibly difficult for me and something I don't think I'll ever get used to.

Care Surrogacy Mexico is contacted daily by many single individuals…straight and gay.  If you are female you first need to see your obgyn and have the necessary tests done..(fertility, etc.)  From there you can make a decision on whether you will be using your own eggs or a donor egg.  You also choose a sperm donor if you do not already have someone in mind.  If you are male you will also be required to have your fertility tested to see if you sperm is functioning.   Male clients can use a donor egg…some have even had a friend donate their eggs for the surrogacy.  

Female clients that are using their own eggs will fly to Mexico City, meet with the doctor to start the egg stimulation/transfer process.  Then after about 10-12 days the doctor will implant the eggs into the surrogate.  Afterwards you can fly back home and wait for your pregnancy results.  (If you are using a friend's sperm it's considerate to pay for his travel expenses to Mexico)

Male clients who are using their sperm will fly to Mexico City a day or two before the scheduled egg transfer so the doctor make collect their sperm sample.  After that you are free to leave.  (If you are using a friend's eggs it's considerate to pay for their travel expenses to Mexico)

An important factor to keep in mind as a single parent going through surrogacy is the financial burden.  You do not have two incomes so it's best to set a side extra money.  You will need funds to fly to Mexico City and your stay there as well as Villahermosa when the baby is born.  You will also need available funds for the babies medical expenses, (pediatrician/shots), the ministry for the birth certificate, the embassy for the passport, transportation, food, etc.  Yes, Mexico is less expensive than the U.S. and the U.K. but expenses add up.  You should go into your surrogacy quest mentally and financially prepared.  

Second-Parent Adoption After Surrogacy

I was recently chatting with a same sex couple from the U.S. and they shared their interest in wanting to apply for second-parent adoption after their baby/babies are born via surrogacy.  



Second-parent adoption is the adoption of a child by a second parent in the home who is not married to the legal parent of the child.  A second-parent adoption allows a second parent to adopt a child without the "first parent" losing any parental rights.  Adoptive parents usually have the same rights as biological parents in custody and visitation matters in most States that allow for this type of adoption.  Second-parent adoption is not allowed in all States.

It's only natural that both parties want to be the legal guardian of their child; however, this can get tricky across the United States.  I gave the couple the same exact advice I give when asked about surrogacy…you absolutely must consult with an attorney who specializes in adoption.  



Jason Hanna and Joe Riggs; a same sex couple from Texas, went through surrogacy in the United States, had twin boys this past April and were denied the right to adopt each other's child.  The couple used each of their sperm for the embryos.  Jason and Joe were married last July in Washington D.C. where gay marriage is legal.  Texas does not recognize gay marriage.  They are still in the process of trying to fight their case.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/18/jason-hanna-and-joe-riggs_n_5506720.html


This was something their surrogate attorney should have looked into before allowing them to embark into surrogacy.  Now laws change every day and more states are beginning to recognize gay marriage.  Here is a couple that is trying to plan for their babies future…the "what if's".  No one likes to think about them but unfortunately happen.  



CARE Surrogacy Mexico provides it's clients with the services of a skilled surrogacy and assisted reproductive attorney.  Ivan Davydov has the experience and knowledge of surrogacy/adoptive law to help you navigate this process.  http://www.surrogacymexico.com




Source: https://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/adoptive/glbt_families.cfm

Testing your Fertility

If you have baby on your mind then you should also be thinking about fertility testing too.  

Recently I have been talking with several couples whom their doctor told them traditional conception was practically out of the question.  This news can be devastating for anyone…especially a woman because your ability to make a baby is so wrapped up with your identity as a woman.  

My advice…Don't wait until your 35, when you've conquered your career and travel bug to find out you've run out of options.  You get a pap smear every year, right?  Why not schedule testing for your fertility.  Not saying that you want to start your family right away, but to prepare for the future.  To know what you are up against.  Having your fertility and hormone levels checked yearly is a great way to prepare for baby.  

If you have irregular or absent menstrual cycles, very painful periods, or a history of a pelvic infection, a ruptured appendix, or known endometriosis you should definitely have your fertility and hormone levels checked.  Having trouble conceiving for several months or worrying excessively about it are also signs you might want to get your fertility checked out, regardless of your age.

If you or someone you know are considering the gestational surrogacy path you  must have your fertility and hormones level tested.  

Here are a list of questions for you to ask at your check-up…

• How do smoking, alcohol and illegal drug use in either partner affect fertility?

• What would be an ideal weight for me to be at?

• Which vitamins should I be taking?

• Is there anything my partner and I can do to improve our chances?

• Are there any health issues I’m at risk for or need to take care of before fertility?

• Is my age an issue?

• Are there any unsafe chemicals I should stay away from?

Topics to Talk About:

• You and your partner’s medical, surgical, reproductive and family histories

• Genetic conditions at risk

• Immunizations and vaccinations

• Ways to improve overall health

• Potential health problems or hazards you could run into

• Family concerns that could affect your health, such as lack of support

• Sexually transmitted diseases

Even if, you’ve been seeing your doctor for years, don’t assume he or she remembers everything about you. Talk about your health history, lifestyle factors, and home and workplace environment...especially if you have any concerns about any of them. Whatever your questions, it’s likely you’ll return home with a wealth of knowledge.  Your doctor will likely have pamphlets to help you keep track of all the information he or she shares but, if not, consider taking notes, so you don’t forget!

Source: http://www.theafa.org

My opinion on the heart wrenching Thailand surrogacy story...

Before I begin I want to make it clear that this is my personal opinion on this devastating situation.  

I have been following the story on the Australian couple who did surrogacy in Thailand since it first came out.  If you are not aware of this please read http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-28654831

From the moment we made the decision to embark on the surrogacy journey my heart was in it for the long haul.  Regardless of the circumstances I went through on a personal level after receiving the news about a positive pregnancy test with our surrogate.  My whole world was now about my unborn baby.  

Here is a couple that went through the surrogacy process, just like I did.  Signed a contract, paid the fee, received weekly updates and ultra sounds, and flew to Thailand to watch their babies be born.  And in the end decided to leave their baby boy who was unfortunately born with Down's Syndrome, a congenital heart condition and a lung infection.  This baby boy is the same exact age as my son Luca.  His name is Gammy and he is precious.  I cannot imagine ever leaving my son for any reason whatsoever. 

Doesn't he deserve love and a chance like his twin sister?  It's not his fault he was born this way.  These things happen.  They happen in natural pregnancy, not just surrogacy.  Gammy needs his sister now more than ever.  The 21 year old surrogate mother now looks after Gammy as well as pays for his medical expenses.  She also has 2 children of her own.  There is an online fundraising campaign to help cover his medical fees.  If you have anything to spare please help this little baby.  http://www.gofundme.com/bxci90

I want point out that United States has very strict surrogacy laws.  Mexico does as well and continues to put laws in place that protect the child.  For example, if an intended parent left the country or refused to pay the surrogacy fee the baby would be sent to a Mexican orphanage and put up for adoption.  It would not be the surrogate mother's responsibility to look after the child.  There are also legal repercussions.  The same thing would happen if; God forbid, an intended parent left a sick baby.  

When deciding to have a baby take time on making your decision.  You will be responsible for someone else's life.  Someone else's feelings and well being.  You are not just a parent for 18 years.  You are a parent until the day that you die.  Surrogacy is a wonderful option for serious couples who want to have a baby…their own baby.  It's sad when people like the Australian couple cast a negative spark on surrogacy abroad.  

This was the most difficult article I have written on surrogacy thus far.  As a mother, I cannot seem to wrap my head around why someone would be so cruel to an innocent baby.  Please send Gammy prayers and healing vibes. 

Why choose Surrogacy? Part 2

I am going to talk about the elephant in the room…male infertility.  Yes, fellas you can be the cause too.  Male infertility is due to low sperm production, abnormal sperm function or blockages that prevent the delivery of sperm.  Illnesses, injuries, chronic health problems, lifestyle choices and other factors can play a role in causing male infertility.  Before embarking into surrogacy you will need to be sure that your swimmers are up to the challenge.  Like I mentioned before in previous articles…there are specific tests you will need to determine the quality of your sperm.  

There are several things you can do to guard your baby making tad poles…


Wear boxers if you are trying to conceive.  Tight underwear or pants can do some damage by squishing a man's parts or increasing scrotal temperature.  Skip the hot tub and sauna.  
Exposure to the high temperatures in saunas and hot tubs can heat things up down there, 
and if the temperature of the testicles gets too high, it can kill the sperm and interfere with
sperm production, potentially resulting in low sperm count and motility.



Laptops can be harmful Considering laptops can get hot enough to burn your legs, men may want to keep them away from the private parts too.  There’s evidence that just like in hot tubs and saunas, the heat from a laptop can raise scrotal temperature, which, again, may interfere with sperm production.  If you’re trying to conceive, you may want to keep the laptop on a table or desk just to be safe.

Be aware of cell phones Some experts have linked cell phones to a range of problems, including brain tumors, cancer and infertility.  Studies have shown that it can lead to higher levels of free radicals in sperm samples, possibly decreasing the quality of those swimmers.  Experts suggest men keep cell phones out of their pockets and off their belts.

Age does matter While women are constantly being warned about the difficulty of conceiving as they get older, it turns out that even though men can (and regularly do) father children well after crossing the senior citizen mark, male fertility does decline with age.  According to research, sperm production decreases in men after age 40 and certainly, after 50.  Still, unlike women, who undergo menopause, men can conceivably conceive well after that.

Stress is a fertility killerWhile you might not be surprised that your lifestyle plays a role in fertility, you might not realize how large a role stress plays in both male and female fertility problems.  For guys, stress can lead to impotence, erectile dysfunction and even shut down the hypothalamic-pituitary-testicular axis...all of which can interfere with fertility.  While it’s next to impossible to avoid stress completely, it is important for you to work on managing your stress, especially if you’re finding the whole getting pregnant thing...well, pretty damn stressful.  Try daily stress-reducing activities such as going for walks, exercising, meditating or just sharing some laughs.


Being overweight will not help your future family  
Adopting a healthy lifestyle will certainly boost your chances of conceiving.  Plus, obesity in men is associated with decreased sperm count and quality, and excessive weight may also be associated with misshapen sperm, which can interfere with the sperm’s ability to reach and penetrate the egg.


Source: http://www.mayoclinic.org    http://www.webmd.com/default.htm